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Progress?

October 18, 2011

Apparently there is such a thing as being too progressive. A manoeuver cannot be defined as ‘progressive’ if it doesn’t improve progress, and throwaway one manoeuver waves should not be classed as progression. Particularly if they don’t actually allow the surfer to progress on the wave.

Anyone who has had the misfortune of witnessing the Innersection.tv submission by Zoltan Torkos could not help but agree. Zoltan is the guy who Volcom awarded 10k(?!) for being the first person to kickflip a surfboard. I’ll bankrupt myself to give Mr Torkos another 10k to never pick up a surfboard and darken our waters again. What a shitty can of worms Volcom opened with this misguided little project. Torkos’ Innersection entry highlights everything truly awful about so –called ‘progressive’ surfing. In the three minute clip ‘The Magician’, as he calls himself, (I wish he’d make himself fucking disappear) attempts (key word) all manner of skate inspired tricks in 2-3ft surf, whilst travelling (I say travelling because it would be a misnomer to call it surfing) nowhere near the critical section of the wave and with barely enough speed to make a bottom turn. This of course relies on the premise that Zoltan could make a bottom turn if he wanted, which, judging by his Innersection entry, I have serious doubts about. This man has the worst style I’ve ever seen on a surfboard, he actually makes surfing look geeky and I’ve never seen anyone do that before. Put simply: the guy can perform a shit-looking kickflip once in every 100 or so attempts but he can’t engage a rail and link a couple of turns to actually ‘surf’ a wave.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. Ken permalink
    October 26, 2011 16:45

    what a hater

  2. Ken permalink
    October 26, 2011 17:17

    wow he must be pretty amazing considering he can barely surf and can do a kickflip over Kelly Slater and everyone in the world

  3. October 26, 2011 22:21

    Kid has more talent than any of the WCT surfers. Just to radical for cutback lovers. I like how the writer is anonymous, shows no class.

    • October 27, 2011 21:29

      This is perhaps the most ludicrous thing I have ever read on the internet.

      And my name is Jamie Currie, since you’re so interested.

  4. Jerry K permalink
    October 26, 2011 22:28

    That Dude is to punk rock for mainstream surf losers. Surfing will never garner national attention showing the same old crap they keep showing us. Most of these dudes cant even surf, they are corporate posers. This website wont even get as many hits in a lifetime as this guy gets on his youtubes. This blog is so fucking stupid.

    P.S.
    Nice critic when you cant even put your name on it. You are a kook whoever wrote this dribble.

    • October 27, 2011 21:33

      Oh dear, it’s attack of the morons again. I presume you lot are friends of the clown in question. I suggest you stick to making surfing ugly (in the shorebreak, well away from the rest of us) and stop posting this DRIVEL on my site.

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